Reflecting on 2021 and My Plans For 2022

Hello, dears!! It’s going to be a whole new year in a few days and just ahhh I am not okay with that. I’m super hyped for 2021 to be over. Don’t get me wrong, there were good things about it. But also? It kinda felt like 2020 The Sequel, but also very different from 2020. Anywayssss, I felt like writing a reflections post, so here we go <3.

Reflecting on 2021

January

In January, I started this blog!! I also turned 14, left an online forum that had become my entire life, got in contact with an old acquaintance who became one of my closest friends pretty quickly, watched WandaVision and The Hardy Boys, and played a lot of Stardew Valley.

February

February was quite honestly a blur for me. I spent the first part of the month detoxing from various things from the online forum that I left in January, obsessing over pop music, and writing music. I spent the second half doing Lenten!! I gave up non-christian music and books…it was really hard haha.

March

All of March was Lent, so I spent most of it growing closer to God and learning more about my faith. I think that this was one of my favorite months of the year. I feel like I really thrived and was super happy.

April

This was my best blogging month of the year. I published 13 posts. This was when Lenten ended and Easter dawned and Spring began and my mental health was at it’s best. I began veiling and grew really close to the Lord. My blog also began to grow during April, so that was a big deal.

May

My memories of May are pretty foggy, so I can’t share much about it. But I can say that I graduated middle school…which was super cool! I also called someone who bullied me in middle school and told her I forgave her, became obsessed with digital art, and listened to Sour on repeat.

June

*Sighs* June was…really draining. My mental health struggled and I fell out of my quiet time with God. Despite this, it was a positive month. I learned more about myself and had a lot of deep thoughts.

July

July was pretty uneventful. I grew closer to God and started prayer journaling. 

August

In August, I went on a fairly long blog hiatus because…I STARTED PUBLIC SCHOOL! I made some incredible new friends and had a lovely first day of high school…and discovered how much I despise PE.

September

September was when my school workload started to really pick up. That was fun XD. I also got the first dose of the Covid vaccine, which was a huge deal seeing as my brothers are pretty high risk. I was scared I’d have bad side effects, but I shockingly didn’t.

October

At my school, the homeworkload is miserable in October, what with midterms and the like. During October, I ended up leaving Catholicism (maybe I’ll do a blog post about this later), making the decision to listen to less pop music (I finally realized how toxic it can be), got fully vaccinated, and also stopped writing the WIP I had literally poured my life into because of religious convictions about the magic content.

November

This should have been called the month of Covid haha. One of my classmates got Covid and exposed a bunch of us. My family decided to quarantine me…I had to stay in the guest room for a few days. It was so miserable :(( But at least it ended and none of us got Covid. Isn’t God so good? Oh! I also started Advent in November!!

December

December…was…both really long and really short. I left my public school in favor of an online Christian homeschool program, celebrated Christmas, and wrote a lot.

Overall Musings about 2021

2021 was both one of the longest years and one of the most important years for me. I learned a lot about myself and what I believe and who God is. I grappled with the fact that I had made autism my whole identity. I had to deal with my bitterness towards the Chistian community, and when I say that this was hard, I mean it. Overall, I think I grew up a lot this year. I started out this year as a 13 year old who put her pronouns in her bio and was borderline progressive and did not want to be associated with conservative Christians, and I’m ending this year as an almost 15 year old who still has personal struggles but is learning to rely on God and is so much more sure of where she stands on religion (I no longer identity as progressive…I don’t put political labels on myself, but if I were to, I would say that I’m mainly conservative).

Goals For 2022

  1. Draft out and prepare to publish a novel
  2. Draft out Guitar Dreams, Fathoms, A Thousand Strangers, and Bee County
  3. Win NaNoWriMo
  4. Read 75 books
  5. Learn to play the guitar/ukulele
  6. Read 10 classic novels
  7. Do a snippet series on YWW
  8. Get my grades up
  9. Memorize 10 bible verses
  10. Compile a poetry collection

An Announcement

I’m changing this blog. Soon, I’m gonna switch to having a non wordpress.com ending to my URL. I’m also going to be updating my bio and some other stuff. ❤

Thank you ever so much for reading this long rambly blog post. I love you all and hope you guys have a wonderful 2022. Thank you for following me on this journey. Take care and stay focused on Jesus, dears! ❤

Blogmas Day 21 | Little Things That Bring Me Joy

Hello dears! There are four days until Christmas and I thought that instead of writing a long post, I’d just leave you guys with a short little thing inspired by this post by Hailey Madison from Sunshine & Rain. I hope you all like hearing my list of things I adore <3.

Little Things Bring Me Joy

  1. Starting a new story
  2. Developing a new hyperfixation
  3. Bullet journaling
  4. When my little brothers are joyful
  5. Making other people smile 
  6. Attacking people with hearts <3333 
  7. Finding peace in Jesus
  8. Finishing reading a story that leaves me with cozy feelings
  9. Having a completely clean room
  10. Vintage aesthetics
  11. Fresh starts
  12. God’s divine grace
  13. Bible journaling
  14. Fairytale retellings
  15. Matcha lattes
  16. Skincare
  17. Long flowy dresses
  18. Poetry
  19. Energetic worship songs
  20. Being brought to tears by the beauty of our God
  21. Feeling at peace with my imperfections
  22. Quotes that set me on fire for Jesus
  23. Disney movies
  24. The realization that I’m still here. God has blessed me with another day. 

I hope you all enjoyed my little list. It was so fun to make and it reminded me of all the things I love. If you enjoyed this post, it would mean the world to me if you would click like, leave a comment, and follow me. Have a lovely rest of your day and keep your eyes focused on Jesus, dears 💛.

He Is Near To The Brokenhearted…Even In The Holiday Season

Hello, dears! I hope that you are all doing well, especially now that we are nearing the holiday season. I know that this is a difficult time of year for some, and I want to be mindful of that. I myself tend to struggle during this season, I get over excited and my anxiety skyrockets. It’s not the same as, say, dealing with PTSD or grief, but I can definitely sympathize. My heart goes out to each and every one of you who are struggling. You are all in my prayers. 

This post is mostly just a letter to those of you who are struggling with the onset of Thanksgiving and Christmas. I pray that the Lord will use my words to encourage someone who needs to hear them <3.

Dear Girl Who Is Struggling During The Holiday Season,

I’m not sure how to start this letter. I thought I would know how to, and then I didn’t. Truth be told, I’m scared of saying the wrong thing and hurting you even more. I am praying that the Lord would give me the right words to put on this page to encourage you.

The holidays are fast approaching, and with those most likely comes a sense of dread for you. The rest of the world is caught up in the hustle and bustle of Christmas, and you’re just wishing you could hide from it all. Maybe you’ve been just having a bad year, or maybe this time of year reminds you of one you lost. Maybe you’re breaking inside and don’t know how you can manage to paste a smile on your face for even another day, let alone an entire holiday season. Maybe you’re just up numb. Trust me, I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to be breaking when everyone else seems to be happy. 

It sucks.

I want you to understand something about Christmas. We humans have added a lot on to it. It started out as the birthday of a King who chose to humbly be born in a manger. A filthy feeding trough that animals ate out of. And then we chose to add on all this other stuff (Santa Claus, Christmas trees, twinkly lights, gifts, etc). That is not the essence of Christmas. Jesus is the essence of Christmas. And He doesn’t want anything more from you except your heart.

If you’re wondering if you can even hold on for another day, I want you to stop and take a deep breath. You don’t have to take part in all the extra stuff. You can just spend this holiday season focusing on Jesus. Maybe this is small, such as choosing to pray to Him throughout the day, or maybe it’s big, such as completely flipping your life around for Him. Cry out to Him, He will listen, and He cares. He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), He loves you with love that we cannot even begin to fathom. You don’t have to pretend with Him. You can come as you are, broken and lost, slowly dying inside. He won’t turn you away. He created you and looks at you with infinite love, He wants to help you and is calling out to you. Listen to Him. He adores you. 

My challenge for you this holiday season is to do just a few simple things. Break them up into little chunks if you need to. First, read the Christmas story and study it. There are plenty of free Bible reading plans online for this. Or, you can just read it without a plan. You can find the Christmas story in Luke 1-2 and Matthew 1-2. Second, focus on gratitude. Just write down something you’re grateful for each day. One thing. Third, listen to Christmas music that focuses more on Jesus and less on holidays. That’s it, three things. You can do that, okay?

There’s a song that was the inspiration for this blog post. It’s called Somewhere In Your Silent Night and it’s by Casting Crowns. It’s one of my favorite Christmas songs because it so accurately acknowledges the pain that so many of us are feeling at this time of year. To close this post out, I’m going to share the lyrics of it with you.

Somewhere In Your Silent Night

All is calm and all is bright

Everywhere but in your heart tonight

They’re singing carols of joy and peace

But you feel too far gone and too far out of reach

Somewhere in your silent night

Heaven hears the song your broken heart has cried

Hope is here, just lift your head

For love has come to find you

Somewhere in your silent night

From heaven’s height to manger low

There is no distance the Prince of Peace won’t go

From manger low to Calvary’s hill

When your pain runs deep

His love runs deeper still

He has always loved you, child

And He always will

Somewhere in your silent night

Heaven hears the song your broken heart has cried

Hope is here, just lift your head

For love has come to find you

Somewhere in your silent night

Lift your head

Lift your heart

Emmanuel will meet you where you are

He knows your hurt

He knows your name

And you’re the very reason that He came

Somewhere in your silent night

Heaven hears the song your broken heart has cried

Hope is here, just lift your head

For love has come to find you

Somewhere in your silent night

Love will find you

Love will find you

Love will find you

You can find the audio version of it on YouTube here. I am praying dearly that this post was able to bring encouragement to someone out there. God loves you and won’t ever leave you. Take care this holiday season <3.

If you enjoyed this post, please don’t forget that click like, leave a comment, and subscribe! Keep your eyes on Jesus, dears. 💛

Blogmas Day 19 / My Christmas Wishlist

    Hello, dears! It is officially 6 days until Christmas and I am so incredibly excited. I know, I know, I’ve been trying to post more faith centered content for Blogmas, but I’m running out of things to post about, so here we are. I always enjoy these little ‘My Christmas Wishlist’ posts, and I hope you guys enjoy my version of it <333.

*I do not expect to get all these things, please do not feel like I am rubbing my money in your faces, I’m not rich and will likely get only a few of these things ❤

    The Wishlist

  1. A MacBook Air

I’ve been wanting one of these for so long. I understand that they super expensive, which is why I doubt I’m getting one. But that’s beside the point haha. I think that Macbooks are so aesthetic and pretty ahh.

  1. Books From My Goodreads To-Be-Read Shelf

I am a bookworm, okay? I like books. And instead of listing off all of the books I want, I can just give people my TBR shelf and they can do with it what they wish. 

  1. A Guitar/Ukulele

I do know that these are completely different things, I just don’t really mind which one I get. Both are really cool and pretty and I can’t make up my mind as to which one I’d rather have…

  1. Fairy Lights

We all know my affinity for fairy lights by now, right? *Squeals* I love them so so so much. They add such a warm feel to a room and they make me feel safe and happy <3.

  1. A New Journaling Bible

I bought myself my first journaling Bible almost a year ago, and by now it’s been filled up with all my ameature attempts to be aesthetic and Pinterest-y. I want a new one that I can have as a fresh start, so that I don’t have to search to find pages that are empty and non cringy.

  1. Page A Day Calendar

In 2020, right before the pandemic began, for my 13th birthday, one of my friends got me an I Love Lucy page a day calendar. I loved it so much ahh. In Christmas of 2020, my mom got me a Bible verse page a day calendar. By now it’s kind of a yearly tradition, so I’m hoping for one for 2022.

  1. Crayola Supertips

I bought myself a set of these a few months ago and I may or may not have lost quite a few of them? *Does this with literally every pen set she gets* Which is why I want a new set, this time with way more colors. I actually think that Supertips are better then Zebra Mildliners. They have prettier colors and more variety.

  1. Vintage Typewriter Letter Stamps

One of my favorite bullet journal bloggers uses these in a bunch of her spreads. They just add such an aesthetic vintage feel to everything. Which is why I want them. I think they’d make a great addition to my growing stationary collection.

  1. A Hoseana Revival Notebook

This notebook is so. so. pretty. I want it so bad. I’m not sure what I’d use it for, but I’m sure I’d find a way to make use of it. I always do. 

  1. A Five Year Prayer Journal

Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to look back on your prayer life throughout the years and see how faithful God truly is? This journal is specifically for that. It lasts for five years (so I’d end it when I’m almost 20) and seems so pretty and like something that, if you remember to stick with it, is super rewarding.

  1. Cross Necklace

I’ve been wanting one of these for a while, ever since I noticed that one of my friends at school had one. I love how it’s a gentle way to show your faith to others without being pushy or triggering those with religious trama (ooh I should write a blog post about being mindful of other’s religious traumas when evangelizing).

Thank you so so much for reading this mess of a post! If you enjoyed it, please don’t forget to click like, leave a comment, and subscribe. What’s on your Christmas wishlist? Let me know in the comments. And, as always, keep your eyes on Jesus, dears. I love you all <3.

Blogmas Day 16 / My Favorite Advent Music

Hello dears! I hope this post finds you well. It’s still Advent and well, I think now is a lovely time to post about my favorite advent music. All of these songs are clean and are Christian. As I get older I find less of a desire for secular culture and more of a desire for a culture that connects me to Jesus. <333

The Songs

Cold Is The Night, by The Oh Hellos

Steady is the hand that’s come to terms / With the lessons it had to learn / I’ve seen the things I must do / But Lord, this road was meant for two / So here I am waiting for you 

The First Christmas, by Riley Clemmons

So help me find in the wonder I have known / I wanna see the star and let it guide me home / Oh, the miracle of Heaven / God is here with us / Help me believe again / Like it’s the first Christmas

Christmas Eve In Bethlehem, by Hannah Kerr

My life began in Bethlehem / So I sing Hallelujah at the top of my lungs / And I fall on my knees / Oh my soul is overcome / In awe of our Savior’s birth the moment Heaven came to Earth / As a baby boy born of a virgin / On Christmas Eve in Bethlehem

Mary Did You Know, by Pentatonix

Mary did you know that your baby boy / Would save our sons and daughters / Did you know that your baby boy / Has come to make you new / This child that you delivered / Will soon deliver you

Silent Night, by Riley Clemmons

O Silent night oh / Silent night, Holy night / Shepherds quake at the sight / Glories stream from heaven afar / Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia / Christ the Saviour is born

Emmanuel, by Hannah Kerr

Emmanuel, a manger for a bed / No crown upon His head / He came like us instead / Emmanuel, He meets you where you are / He holds your heavy heart / Our God is with us all

Light Of The World, by Lauren Daigle

The world waits for a miracle / The heart longs for a little bit of hope / Oh come, oh come, Emmanuel 

Noel – Live, by Chris Tomlin

Noel, Noel / Come and see what God has done / Noel, Noel / The story of amazing love!/ The light of the world, given for us / Noel / Noel

Hope Is Alive, by Ellie Holcomb

After the silence of waiting so long / We hear a baby’s first cry / And into our midnight / A heavenly song / Whispers that hope is alive

O Come O Come Emmanuel (feat. Sandra McCracken & Skye Peterson), by Rain For Roots

O come, O come Emmanuel / And ransom captive Israel / That mourn some lonely exile / Until the son of God appear / Rejoice / Rejoice / Emmanuel / Shall come to thee / O Israel

Thank you so so much for reading! I dearly hope that you were able to discover some lovely music to keep you company in the last stretch of the waiting. If you enjoyed this post, please don’t forget to like, subscribe, and leave a comment. And, as always, keep your eyes on Jesus, dears <333.